Chapter 8

On the way back home, A & H was sitting beside each other & A was trying to be the "bf material" but H was a bit resistant. H couldn't stop thinking about F & how it would feels if she was with F. She has come to a period where she couldn't looked into A's eyes & feel like how it should be.

There's no spark in H's heart anymore. No butterflies in stomach, no smitten with his acts & no loving/caring feelings whatsoever. 

A knew something was up when he noticed that H was avoiding him throughout the convocation period. So he asked her. H answered nothing & so quiet, not like her usual self.

A wanted to send H up until the Wangsa Maju LRT but H declined & said that A should be on his way back home as the journey to go back to Rawang may take a while.

On the other hand, F messaged H that he was willingly wanted to fetch H from the KL Sentral but no avail as H is with A. But she suggested that F fetch her from LRT Setiawangsa. Harsh, I must say, but my heart said, that he maybe the one that H is looking for.

F agreed that he will fetch H from LRT & will bring her out to dinner to celebrate her convocation.

H arrived around 6pm at LRT & F was already there waiting for her. H was astonished that F was on time as A wasn't always on tine. F suggested that they go to Wangsa Walk Mall as it is nearer to both houses. Its a plus that F lives near to H's house.

So, they decided to eat Popeye's (now Manhattan Fish Market) & they talked. They had never talked about life, family, hopes and dreams. But that night, H & F perception towards each other has changed. They have a lot in common after all. Same but a little bit different.

After they have done with dinner, F sent H back home & H was thinking deeply about what to do next.

Stay with A or Move on with F. 

She was at the point where whatever she decides will determine whether she's brave enough to take the next step & go out from her comfort zone & broke someone else heart or stay.

Chapter 7

F was really sad, the plan to surprise H on her convocation day its not working. He was a bit sad because he couldn't be there for her convocation, because she was there at his convocation. it was a overwhelmed joy that she came and wait for his name, and yes, it was truly an honor to know someone you like sees you when you took your scroll, and asked you to "smile when the heart is aching".


H was on her way to the airport with A, but somehow, H was looking forward for it, and she wasn't happy with A. Deep down, she want to break it off with A right that moment but don't want to ruin anything so she kept everything in her heart. She was crying her heart out and not wanting A sitting beside her. A wasn't what she think he would be, A was pushy and H was a bit sad that everything that A promised her, was all against him now. 


She make excuses to him that she wanted to sleep, and she slept the whole way to the airport and the whole way to Sarawak. Fast forward, they arrived and part their ways. The first thing that she wanted to do, is to sms F, saying that she arrived at Sarawak, But she doesn't have the heart to do it. She wanted to fight the feeling she have for F and try again with A, but then again, A does things that H think its wrong. 


She was crying for about 2 hours thinking how did she end up that way, why does her convocation was not what she think it should be, she was sad. When the clock strikes 12am, she said goodnight to A and F was sms-ing her asking, can he call her that night. She agreed. They talked for 1 hour, which turned into 2 hours, 3 hours, and almost 4 hours they talked.


She really wanted to tell him how she feels towards him. She wanted to say, "I love you", but the back of her heart stopped her, they said, that it wasn't right because she was still in a relationship and she should work on it. But, she trusted her heart but vows not to say anything. She tried to said it, but she doesn't have the heart to do so, it's unfair to A and to F. But she knew, he knew.


The next day, F wishes her goodluck and congratulations and asked whether is there a live telecast of H receive her scroll, she was laughing and said no, there isn't. F was devastated with the whole-not-being-there and waited for her to sms back. H was so happy with her convocation but not really happy with the thought that H was still with A. She wasn't herself when she is with A, she was pretending to be happy with A. She have to go through this and excited to go back.

Chapter 6

"I got me self a new shoes, nice isn't it?" asked H.


"Yes, you have a good taste" said F.


"I want to say I'm sorry for being late. It's because of the practice. " said F.


"It's okay, as long as I'm here in your car and heading home now, don't worry" said H.


"Is it okay, if you have a drink with me?" asked F.


H looking at her watch, it's 15 past 11pm. "Sure, why not?" answered H. She was happy whenever he's around. She know, that she wasn't supposed to be out alone with another guy, but this guy is making her happy in a way, only she could understand. A wasn't contacting her, as they were to meet the next day, because she is leaving for her convocation in Sarawak.


It's 12.30pm and her mum is making a fuss about her not home yet. But, on the other hand,


"F, can I see your saxophone? Ive never seen or hold it before, if you don't mind?" H asked.


"Sure, anything for you" F said.


She was beginning to felt different with the whole "anything for you".


He took out his saxophone, as similar to Kenny G and he gave her to hold it. And she was quite fascinated with the saxophone and then she asked him to play a song. And she knew, things would never be the same after this.


He took the saxophone a positioned it on his lap, and he looks at her and said, "This is for you". He played "Kenny G's Forever in Love" song. She couldn't understand why he choose to play the song, somehow, she cried a little bit to it. She knew, she was now, fallen for him.


Before he dropped her at her house, he gave her a card. A congratulations card. She was overwhelmed. She knew, that she wanted to be with him.

Chapter 5

"So, how was your raya?" F asked.


"It was okay, im so bored and stuck at Kedah and nothing much to do. What about you?" asked H to F.


"It sucked to fall sick on Raya, really" answered F.


"Oh, don't worry, sit tight and rest, right?" said H.


F felt something different, something warm and fuzzy feeling towards her. Can she really be real? F flashback to the moment when he and H are talking about music, now they talked about Raya day? There must be something, but I shouldn't done all these. Its not right, she already have a bf.


Anyway, fast forward to H's open house. She invited A's family and F. A's family arrived around 1pm and was talking to H's parents. Yes, H was so nervous about the whole scenario but deep down she knew that A's family is not connected to her family. But then again, that's her choice. Around 2 something, A's family was headed for a business agenda. She was again, disappointed with the whole scenario. Her bf couldn't even stayed until it was night time, he utterly said that it was not proper as we don't have any ties yet.


As the day went by, H was absolutely tired with her friends coming over and what not, it was such a chaotic event because H's family never organized an open house before. It was really a first time for them. But H was somehow felt happy with it.


Clock strikes 6pm, and suddenly, "H, im here already. So, where are u?", F sms-ed H.


"You just come over, and I'll be waiting for you here." she replied.


F : Seriously, i'm so freaking nervous. What should I do? What should I do?
S : Relax and chill. Im going to have a smoke. You calm down for a while.
F : Right, I will.


Few minutes later, F and his friend, S was walking over to H's house and H was standing there smiling and greeting them. 


"Is it hard to find my house?" asked H.


"Nah, not really. But it is hard to find a perfect spot to park. We park at the Petronas" answered F.


"It's quite far, but never mind" H said with a smiling face.


"Here's the CD that I want to gave you" said F while handing over to H.


Nervously answered,"Thanks for this Harvey's CD, you sure know that I loved him." said H. "Anyway, come let's meet my parents and eat." 


After the whole say-hello-to-the-parents, F and S sit outside and talked until, "F, come taste my Kek Batik, it was the last one, and yes, you're lucky." F tasted it, "Seriously you've made this? So wonderful and tasty" said F. H was flattered. Then, she go inside and take one of her creation which is Biskut Mazola. "Don't make fun of me, but this is another creation of mine, and I don't really think it's okay because it's a bit dry." F tasted it, and again, he compliment her.


Somehow, she felt something different about him. But, she know where she should stop. It was only a friend whom she known for quite some time.


Exactly one hour later, F and S said their goodbye to H. It ended there, for now.

Chapter 4

F decided that he wasn't going to pursue his bachelor's due to some family constraint. But H was continuing her mother hopes with grad a bachelor's. Even though deep down, she was tired.


F was mending his broken heart. He was sad. Up until one day, he was again, chatting with H on the ym. They still changing songs and slowly, they exchanging stories about their schoolmates. And have a good laugh about it. They started to be close.


H wasn't happy with A because he only wanted to talk about himself and his hopes and future and how H should lead her life; becoming an entrepreneur/open a boutique/becoming a lecturer. He have lay down how she should be when they married. And bit by bit, she wasn't really pleased with it. She was trapt, suffocated with everything and it breaks her heart that she was powerless.


One fine day, F's brother was checking out his brother Facebook and asked, who is H because he noticed that she always liking F post, and comments and she wasn't someone that he was familiar with because of the bond they both have, usually F's brother knew all F's friends. F naively explaining who she is, and how they have been friends for some time since school and shared some music interest. So, his brother told his brother to asked her out, but he said No, as she was in a relationship and he does not love to meddle in other people relationship. Oh, his brother also said, that she was pretty :)


That night, he was hanging out with one of his bestfriend, M and he said that talking to H, was like talking to F, but in a girl's form. But then again, he realised something, something special. It began to develop slowly.


The next day, F was on the way to JPJ and he got one simple SMS saying; "Are you free tomorrow? Need some assistance, can?". and he looked over to his brother saying, "OMG, you have one BIG MOUTH! She's texting me and asked me out!" And he replied, "Sure, anything for you".


H, wanted to do her hair because Raya's coming and that when the raya's promotion but didn't have a ride. So, figures, she asked F's help because F lives near to her. What she doesn't know that, that SMSed she sent to him, changes everything. She had a second thought before sending the SMS but she wait patiently and waited for the reply.


"Sure, anything for you. What time and where?" he replied.


Her heart skips but she ignored and think it was just another playful heart of hers. So, she smsed the details to him.


The next day, he picked her up in front of her house, across the street. And off they go to the saloon near to ampang. The moment she steps into the car, the memories of them together at Shah Alam, of him singing Harvey Malaiholo - Sesaat Kau Hadir keeps repeating in her heart. And all the jazz songs, really put her in the mood. She admit that she's can easily fallen for anyone, but then, this is different. Who listens to Jazz in the morning?


After they arrived at the saloon, she thanked him for sending him, but what happened next really surprised her. He waited for her, almost 4 hours because he was a bit concerned of whereabout of her. After that, he asked F to sent her to KLCC because she had dinner date with A.


"I wanted to wait for her" he told himself. After she have finished, she asked me to sent me to the KLCC to met A, can't this be any more painful than this? Im sending her to the wrong guy whereas I should be the person she should be with. But yeah, she already have a boyfriend. I don't want to ruin anything here. So, I just have to play along and act as the nicest guy she'd ever met. A gentlemen will walk but never run. Yes, I believe in you sting, I should wait. And I will wait, patiently.

Chapter 3

H was losing her friend, B and S due to the relationship she has with A and that broke her heart a little bit. The truth is, she become loner compared to before. All in all, she was trying to coping with everything and trying to be happy. It's not like she wasn't happy, she was, but it wasn't enough. Something somehow still missing. They can talked about anything but the chemistry wasn't there. She was blessed that, that's the best she could ever found, back then.


F was a bit suspicious with W with her new sets of friends. At first, F was a bit sorry for W for not having friends and he be-friended with her when they were an item. But, as they grew older or bigger, she actually know how to make friends. She found herself caught up with all the attention she have and in a way, slowly she take him for granted. But he wasn't the type who gives up easily.


H was getting serious with A which involves her and A's parents. Yes, she was rushing. Rushing into something that wasn't meant to be. She thinks this way, she could feel safe and wanted. But, at one point, she sits and think, why she was so reluctant to be in a relationship with A;
1. He was not always there, like there there. not physically but mentally.
2. He doesn't understand. Just doesn't understand.
3. He was not the positive type, but trying to hard to be positive
4. He wasn't her type at all (a bit harsh, but the truth)
5. He doesn't see her.


She knew the differences she had. But she wants to try and try.


F was a bit bumped with all the the things that has been happening with him and W. He was not in his best condition. He wasn't happy. He wanted to end things but somehow, he still hanging on. The thought of being alone and become a loner comes to mind. His brother busy working, his parents wasn't pampering his like they used to. He was sad and confuse. and he's going to be alone again.


F was telling his friends, that he and she will broke up the week after she came back from Korea. and it was so true. They've broken up. He looked at his phone book, and he saw H name. He wanted to call her, but they've never ever spoken on the phone ever. But, it was the person that he most wanted to call, somehow.


H on the hand, was a bit busy with her final semester and trying to make the best of it. She worked hard for it, and aiming to grad with 3.5 and she did it all for her mother. But, her friends doesn't see that she put her heart and effort for her mother. And end up, she was mothering them with everything. She was tired, mentally and psychically and A wasn't a good helper but a nuisance. She couldn't wait for Diploma to ended.


It was their last semester of Diploma. Both H and F was lonely, in their own way. 

Chapter 2

The girl lived miserably under the control of her current boyfriend, B. 


She met him when she was working in KLCC. She's fallen for him, just because; he have a very convincing and sincere smile. She had a thing for smile. She always pictured her wedding pictures standing beside a man, who have the biggest and lovely smile. And yes, he was one of the list.


One day, she realized that the differences between the two of them, become distance not because of the study distance between them, but just because she felt something inappropriate. 


She the type of human who listens to her heart rather than thinking. 

She believes in her instinct.

Whereas, the boy, F was also in a relationship with a girl from his class, W. He was happy eventhough there are a big differences between them. At that time, he couldn't care less, he just go with the flow. The girl is somewhat richer than he is, and again, he just go with the flow eventhough deep down he's not happy.

H and F was catching up through yahoo messanger (ym) and talked. Like talk talk. Real talk, about everything but mainly exchanging music and songs. Eventhough the girl studied a very different area, but her passion just grew and grew. But, at that time, both didn't realize anything, they pretended that they in a very happy place but the truth is, something inside their heart are missing. But, they both said to themselves that, that's the way it goes.

They talked about songs and the girl gave some songs so that F can dedicated to the girlfriend and vice versa. The girl even said that, when she get married, she wanted F to play at her wedding and she will leave everything on him and trusts him on every song that he choses. And they talked until late morning without noticing that they shared something interesting and beautiful.

A few months later, the girl, H broke up with B and hook up with A two days after that. At that time, she wasn't in her right mind. She still have feelings towards B. She couldn't move on. She doesn't want to think that A will be a rebound guy for her, she just go with the flow. 

It's a lie, the girl haven't fallen for him but he is so not on-the-list type of guy. It's hard for her to like someone who isn't 4 outta 10 from the-list. So, she tried.

Yes, at this point, Im sure you wanted to kill H so dearly until that H wouldn't woke up again. and yes, she was that Bitch.

Everyone loves the it-couple and said that H will be married to him. At first she's liking the idea of people wanted to be married to her. She likes the attention given on her, as long as something happened. She believes that no one better and perfect as A. But like always, deep down she felt as if she was lying to herself and tried to be happy, or that's what she thinks.


On the other hand, F was relatively was enjoying every minute he had with W. But what he doesn't knew that he had changed into a very different person. He become angrier and more girly girl. His brother noticed the change but didn't bother but a bit bumped with his actions.


F was the youngest among 2 siblings, so you could imagine how close they would be. 


Nevertheless, his brother was busy with his life as he was going to marry the love of his life. But deep down, he misses his little brother. He knew that they wouldn't be long and it's a matter of time that it will be over. But, it came to his attention that they was the it-couple because F and W, always together practicing and performing together and to some people, that was sweet, and most people envious with what they had.